My Testimony

I was bought up in a Christian household from the age of six. I never really worried about the way I looked until I started high school. As the oldest of six children I was the first to experience high school and I went to a high school in which i didn't know any people that came from my primary school so I had to make new friends. High school was a lot different from primary school and I felt like I had been thrown in at the deep end I didn't like high school at all. It started at 13 I started to worry about my appearance and noticed that I was different to most other girls my age and I became insecure as I compared myself to others I remember people would tease me for my height or other things and I wasn't like everyone else to make things worse I wanted so desperately to fit in. I was always quiet but this was different I became insecure and had low self esteem. I would always cover up the fact hat this made me miserable. Covering up became a habit and as time went on it started to develop into other things such as people pleasing. I tried to change myself but I couldn't ever find satisfaction in myself because I new how I really was and the emotions and worry I had. And the insecurity began to develop and ruin other areas of my life and I felt as though there was no hope and that no one cared about my life I felt worthless and hated myself and I just wanted to die. No one ever noticed this and probably would least expect this to be me because I always put on a front as if everything was fine when it wasn't.
I became dependent on people's approval to make me feel secure. This made me feel guilty and I began to try to seek God but I was still pleasing people and their approval and it gets to the point where you have to choose between the two. I felt as if I was divided between the two. Even though I would say I was a Christian there was no real relationship with God. At this time I remember I felt ashamed to tell people about God and was uncomfortable with people associating me with Jesus, looking back I think it was clear to say that I wanted to fit in with the crowd so I was putting people above God, I was afraid to be different.
As time progressed, I felt as if God had not given up on me and that there was hope and I really wanted to seek God for good this time and I think this was the start of God calling me to him I was reading God's word and praying frequently and I wasn't ashamed to. However, one thing that was wrong was that I was depending on my works to make me right with God and when I messed up I felt as if I was detached from God and I wasn't certain of my salvation and I was still trying to please people but just in a different way. It took a while but God in His grace enabled me to understand that Jesus had died for all my sins past, present and future. HE DIED FOR EVERY SIN AND HE DIED FOR ALL and yes that includes me and you who are reading this (See 1 John 2:2 and 2 Corinthians 5:15)  One verse that God revealed to me was Romans 6:14 "For sin shall no longer be your master for you are not under the Law, but under grace." this does not mean that we continually try to sin (see Romans 6:15) but God will enable us and only with God's help and through prayer to free us from bondage to sin. I learnt that Christ's death did not just involve the physical pain of crucifixion but he had to endure mine and the world's sin! How could I then depend on myself instead of the sinless Savior who paid it all? If I was trying to get right with God with my own words I was saying that Jesus' death is not sufficient for me. I learnt that I needed to get whole before God and pour my heart out before him. I repented (turned away from my sin) and turn back to God through prayer acknowledging that I was helpless without him. I turned from self to a loving Savior who was patiently waiting for me to come to him all along.
I came as I was with all my fear, insecurity, helplessness and flaws to God who restored me to himself through Jesus his son which is not my own work but the gift of God called His grace (Ephesians 2:8) for which I am eternally grateful and I am not sharing this to say that I have become perfect because I still battle with sin daily but God helps me to overcome sin by remaining in him, it shows that if Christ can heal and restore a broken sinner like me to a right relationship with him and he can certainly do the same with YOU if YOU let him. And Christ's blood washes me and He will continue to work in me until I meet him face to face. (Phil. 1:6)

I hope this encourages someone
God bless you,
Jaleen 

Feel free to e-mail me about anything at j.obilaso@gmail.com :)
P.S please check out this post if you want to become a Christian or know more

Pathway to Death

Hello hope you are all having a blessed Sunday!
I just wanted to talk about a few verses that God has placed on my mind recently and one that I looked up because it scared me quite a bit and I needed to understand it after reading one website in particular this is what I got. 
So the first verse was Proverbs 14: 12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. When I first read this I was scanning my head for all the things that are wrong in my life thinking what is God trying to say to me? So I decided to research the verse and found a commentary that spoke to me and also fit in with another verse that God has been showing me which is Galatians 1:8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. 

If you look around today there are so many religious beliefs, doctrines, parties and interpretations of scripture with some being more popular than others. Just because its popular with man it does NOT mean that this is the way to life. The way to life is narrow and there are few that will make it into heaven. Matthew 7:14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Notice the word FEW will find it, Jesus never says the way to heaven will be popular or many will enter the way he says FEW. So what is this way? How can we be sure that we are on the right path? Well if we read a few verses down. Matthew 7:21 Not everyone who says to me "Lord, Lord." will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. The people who will make it into heaven will be those who are DOING the will of the Father in heaven. Are we DOING the will of God? seeking God's will is good but not on its own are we actually DOING his will to? I don't sit here condemning you but I'm convicted too, we need to make sure that we are DOING the will or God and pursuing it. Matthew 7:24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Let's not lose sight of our calling and start practicing what Jesus taught us don't get distracted  by the popularity and distractions of other things which are irrelevant. Our lives need to be built on Jesus as the rock this involves repenting of sin and obeying all of his teaching this is the only way to eternal life any other foundation leads to death.

God Bless you, 

Jaleen

If you have any questions about the blog or how to come to Jesus please feel free to e-mail me at j.obilaso@gmail.com
P.S please check out this post if you want to become a Christian or know more